Published Aug 16, 2023
The Wit and Wisdom of Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott
The Enterprise's chief engineer is always at your service with his words of wisdom and Scottish charm.
Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, known as "the miracle worker" to his longtime comrades James T. Kirk and crew, was the chief engineer aboard the original U.S.S. Enterprise and its successor craft. Bullish on his Scottish ancestry, Scotty wears ceremonial kilts with his dress uniform, plays the bagpipes, and is renowned for his love of Scotch and his beverage collection from all parts of the galaxy.
To celebrate the arrival of Scotty on , we're reflecting on the wit and wisdom of our favorite chief engineer.
Diplomats!
The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank!
A Taste of Armageddon
A cranky transporter's a mighty finicky piece of machinery to be gambling your life on, sir.
The Doomsday Machine
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.
Damage control is easy.
Reading Klingon - that's hard.
Don't you worry, captain.
We'll beat those Klingon devils, even if I have to get out and push!
Starship captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. The secret is to give them what they need, not what they want.
"Relics"
The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse.
Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to hide a starship on the bottom of the ocean?
You're part of something bigger now, lassie. Right?
Don't give up on that.
Cause we'll sure as hell never give up on you.
That is what being part of a crew is all about.
I'm an engineer, not a miracle worker, Mr. Spock.
Alternate Montgomery Scott, "A Quality of Mercy"
First, I jury-rigged the engines to increase their capacity.
And secondly, well, I figured out how to hide in plain sight.
When an armada of human-eating lizards come my way, I can get quite, uh, creative.
"Hegemony"